little rainbows in the storm ⋒
It has been a doozy of a week. Not much adoption news to share, minus our next Zoom home study visit being this weekend (08/28). But we’ve had a bit of a bummer week with our home renovations, which is intrinsically tied to being able to move to the next stage of the adoption process. It has kind of being the trifecta of bad news. First our HVAC/electrician/plumber (one guy who did it all) ghosted us, and our plan had been that he would start next week. So we’ve been scrambling to find new contractors to do the work and thanks to Thomas, I think (fingers crossed) we have people lined up to start. Next up our windows that were meant to be here in October, which then moved to no later than November 8, which has now become “we will do our best to get them to you by Nov 8”. Thomas once again has been on the phone daily to Pella (our window company) to try to figure out a way to move the process along. This is the main things that will hold up our two county inspections that are required to complete our home study and get our dossier to Bulgaria. And finally, when our contractor removed our old large bedroom window, which is in the bumped out section of the house over our porch, he discovered that a lot of the wall was being held together in places by shims. :-/ So the whole wall had to be removed and rebuilt (this coming after we realized the support beams for this room were completely rotten and also had to be replaced). Needless to say I threw myself quite the pity party for a few nights.
Now the good news, our rainbows in the storm. Our contractor is AMAZING, works quickly, and does impeccable work. He already has the new exterior wall up, the window hole reframed for the new huge windows (come on Pella). I don’t have any happy updates on the windows yet, but I’m staying optimistic. And like I said above, I think Thomas has found tradespeople who seem nice and can start soon for the electric, plumbing, and HVAC.
Totally unrelated to renovations, but I also bought a crib for Tippi off Marketplace. I know we can’t/shouldn’t buy much until we are further along in the process and know a little more about her, but I also need little hits of sunshine during this impossibly slow period of waiting. After finding and sending Thomas about 3000 different cribs that are perfect, we found the truly perfect one we could both agree on (aka that Thomas also loved). I picked it up from the loveliest family in DC today and when they found out we were adopting, they gifted us with a beautiful tray of Grimm’s blocks that had been beloved toys of her children. Naturally I cried - it was the most thoughtful gesture at a time I really needed a boost. People really are so good.
with A LOT of help from our friends!
We’ve moved into the fundraising portion of our adoption, and while asking for help does not come naturally for either Thomas or myself, we realize that getting our girl home is going to take a village. Money is a tricky thing to ask for, but finding the ~$40K to pay for our adoption is even trickier. Thankfully we have the most incredible friends and community who are moving mountains and willing to pour their time and generosity in our direction.
Biggest thanks goes to our lovely Hanna for making this website and marketplace a reality. None of this would be possible without you. Everyday we are able to add to our marketplace because of so many people who have donated their time, craft, and livelihood to the cause. Amy, Bei + Steven, Emily, Jamie, Julie, Liz, Mary Frances, Vanessa - thank you for being the A-team! Thank you also to the list of folks below, who we would love for you to follow and support as a way to say thanks.
a little thing that made us smile…
Our adoption agency has an online portal where we upload all our files and keep up with the numerous checklists that are part of the adoption process. When I logged on yesterday to start working on our dossier paperwork, I noticed there was a new waiting list of forms to come (see pic below). My heart 100% skipped a beat, especially at the last one - ‘home’. It feels so faraway and like a beautiful dream, but seeing that one word on the screen made it start to feel very very real.
home study visit #1
It’s such a relief to feel like we’re moving forward again with the adoption process. For the last month we have felt a bit in limbo because there wasn’t much more we could do until our renovations were more complete. Today we had our first of three home study visits with our amazing social worker. The first two visits are done via Zoom, which takes a lot of the pressure off. Today’s chat was 2.5hrs of chatting! Thomas and I are notorious chatty pants and our social worker is the same way, so it ended up being a really fun morning of necessary chat and also just getting to know each other.
We continue this conversation at the end of the month, and then have our final and most important in-person visit in early October. During this visit she will see our home, chat with us, our kids, as well as one of our references who will come out that day too. Having this date on the calendar is hugely helpful, as it gives us a firm deadline of when work needs to be complete. We have been working hard to clean up the outside of the house/gardens (so much dirt moving, weeding, and mulching) and are working hard on the inside too. There have been lots of unexpected hurdles, but also amazingly kind contractors and people who want to help us get our girl home as quickly as possible.
father’s day with tippi
She may not be with us physically yet, but we celebrate with Tippi like she is already here. This was Thomas’s first Father’s Day with her as his daughter, so naturally she was included in this year’s card. ツ It’s kind of my favorite.
the making of tippi’s room (part 1)
When we moved into our forever home in August 2020, adoption wasn’t on the forefront of our mind. We were deep in figuring out our renovation plans and surviving pandemic life. In early 2021 when the work on our house was at a standstill while we waited for our architecture plans, the pull to add another child to our family grew. Adoption had always been something we talked about, and the universe found a way to lead us back to this plan. Finding out Tippi was going to join our family also happily tied in with us beginning our renovations, and my nesting urge to create a beautiful space of her own hit hard. I have spent too many hours planning out a dream space for our dream girl. Her life in an orphanage will not have been one of much sensory stimulation, so it’s important to make sure her bedroom is a calming safe haven. My current vision involves:
white walls + light wood floors
a soft pale rug (I already have the perfect wool one from our Hyattsville home)
a leather rocking chair (I’m swooning over one from Article)
a modern crib that can grow with her (almost certainly she will still be sleeping in a crib in the orphanage, so I want to give her a familiar safe space without it feeling anything like her old institutional style bed). I am currently obsessing over many, and are grateful for patient friends who keep getting sent links of my new faves. ;)
a large fiddle leaf fig (the few photos and videos we have of her, include her staring and reaching out in wonder at the potted plants in the entry hall of the orphanage)
a crystal lamp
Currently her room looks like this ↓↓↓ (framing for the new windows happens this week), so we have some time before I should really start shopping…. but you can’t blame a very excited mama for looking!
introducing tippi ☾
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I'm not sure words can do justice to the news we are so excited to share with you all. After what started as a very hard year (after a very hard year), we are impossibly thrilled to introduce you all to our daughter - Tippi Moon Emilia Sheffer. Our dream girl currently lives in an orphanage in Bulgaria and has been there her entire two short years of life. She is considered a special needs adoption due to some fairly big medical issues she has, and the uncertainty of what her future development will look like. What we know from the few photos, videos, and medical notes we have is that she is an incredibly strong fighter who has made massive progress despite her circumstances. She is beautiful, curious, and determined. We are already so proud.
When we started our adoption journey at the beginning of the year, we imagined it would take years to be matched, but after seeing this little girl's face on the waiting child list, we applied, held our breath (because we weren't the only family applying to adopt her), and waited for news. On Thomas's birthday no less, we found out that Bulgaria chose us to be her family. I can only compare it to the excitement of finding out you're pregnant - complete magic!
We are considered to be soft matched because our home study process is not complete. This means Bulgaria holds her file for us and we have six months to get through all the necessary paperwork and home inspections to complete our dossier and get it sent in. Right now we have finished all the paperwork we can, and the hold up is not being able to pass the inspections until we are further along with our renovations (frustrating, because even once we have our dossier sent it will still probably be at least 6 months of waiting to get her home where we can be working on the house). We have finally begun work on the house, and will be throwing ourselves into getting things done to a point where we can get the needed check marks.
Once we get through this, we wait for the dossier to be accepted and approved. Then we are scheduled for trip one, which is a week in Bulgaria getting to meet our girl. After this week we file while in the country to officially adopt her. We have to come home without her and wait (again) for our case to go to court in Bulgaria, and once passed, wait to be scheduled for trip two (another 1-2 weeks in Bulgaria to pick her up). This is not a fast moving process and our dream is to get her home before she turns three on May 30th.
We debated when to share our news, because although she's ours, it's not truly official until after trip one. But we love her so much already and wanted you to fall in love with her too. For a little girl who has never known love or family, I adore the idea that people all over the world are thinking about her and sending her love and light. I hope this will be enough to get her through the wait of finally getting to come home.
What can you do to help (because I know people will ask, they already have). This is a tricky one for us, because it's not in our nature to ever want to ask for help (our love language is giving). Firstly, keep our Tippi girl in your thoughts (an easy one). If you're local to us and have a few hours to spare, we could always use help with renovation projects - inside and out. We have started to apply for adoption grants and have quite a few more to apply for once our home study is approved. Thanks to amazing friends (Hanna, you are a dream) who have created this website, we are also fundraising to help with the massive adoption expenses. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
xx M
☼☼☼ We aren't allowed to post her photo online or on social media until she is officially adopted, hence the reason we will be hiding her face in all the photos we share until then. Just know behind the heart is the most darling little face that is impossible not to fall in love with.
our adoption timeline
2021
march 19 - signed with adoption + home study agency
late april - saw tippi’s file on our agency’s ‘waiting child’ list
may 1 - asked agency to see her adoption file
may 8 - agency sent us the official application documents
may 10 - sent in our application
june 11 - ‘soft match’ …we have 6 months to finish our dossier
august 7 - first home study visit (virtual)
august 28 - second home study visit (virtual)
october 9 - final home study visit (in-person)
october 20 - county sanitation inspection.
october 26 - county fire Marshall inspection
november 29 - home study completed/sealed/apostilled
november 29 - file i800A with USCIS
november 29 - all dossier documents sent to agency for approval/translation
november 30 - dossier sent to Bulgaria
november 30 (arrived December 9) - uscis lockbox
december 27 - uscis biometrics
2022
march 8 - i800A approval (arrived march 15)
march 16 - i800A approval sent to Bulgaria
march 19 - i800A approval arrives in Bulgaria
april 5 - official match
april 5 - article 16
april 26-29 - visit one (virtual)
april 8 - file i800 with USCIS (arrived april 11)
april 27 - i800 approval (arrived may 6)
may 9 - NVC (national visa center) registration + notification
june 17 - court date issued for july 4
(article 5 issued by US embassy sometime between NVC and court date being issued)
july 5 - court(!!!)
TBD - court decree signed
TBD - travel dates given
TBD - visit 2 (pick up!)
….and lots of paperwork squeezed in here too!
